Coming to Terms with Lonely

Living life fully means coming to terms with aloneness and loneliness. Like the ocean tides, there will be times that are boisterous, vibrant, and busy. For many of us, this time begins with high school and continues until we are complete with college. Then, we move into a place of our own and for the first time, we face stretches of aloneness. For some, they cannot handle the quiet. They cover it up with food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, or busyness or loudness (TV/Music/Social Media.)

Yet, if you are wise, this will be the first time you have a chance to come to terms with the quiet. Because it isn’t really quiet, is it? It’s full of thoughts, rapprochements, Shoulda/woulda/coulda’s, and all the chatter that goes on in our busy minds. So, during this time, pause. Become friends with yourself. Learn who you are. Love yourself. Or, if that is too big of a goal, step gingerly into the exploration of who you are outside of your parents, outside of your school, outside of your ethnicity, outside of your chosen profession. What do you like? Why? Who do you like? Why? What are your dreams? Your dreams?! Not your parents’ dreams, not your siblings nor your friends…yours!

Can you go alone to the beach or the mountains or a park and just be with yourself? Pause. Enjoy the moment. Drink in the surroundings. Reflect if you want or just be with yourself. Getting comfortable with yourself, knowing yourself, loving yourself is an investment worth making. It will become a touchstone, a pillar, solid ground on which to build your life. For times will come when you and your relationship with the divine (if you choose to have one) will be all that you have. Knowing, accepting and loving yourself will help you navigate those times.


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